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About Me

Where I write about the things going on in my life, things I find on the Internet, and the occasional writings. Current Work: Rosethorn (see relevant blog[s] for more information) and possibly a script or two.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Escuela de Verano, Verano Grupo Pequeño, y Mi ex-hermanastro que Abandonó la Escuela Secundaria

Como usted puede o no puede tener en cuenta, de todas las materias escolares básicas por ahí, matemáticas suele ser mi peor. Por lo tanto, estoy en una clase de álgebra en la escuela. Oficialmente, está catalogado como "Algebra de Colegio con el análisis de datos", pero incluso para mí no es tan difícil - no es la clase más fácil que he tomado, pero estoy seguro de que voy a pasar. Quiero decir, son cosas que he aprendido antes (aunque me falta el actualización), así que no es como que estoy teniendo que trabajar con nuevos conceptos. Y. una vez que haya terminado (y obtener la transcripción), por fin voy a ser catalogado como un Sénior! Cualquier clase de matemáticas me quedo de aquí en adelante (porque, en realidad, nunca termina ...) probablemente será Estadísticas y tal.

Otra de las cosas que estoy haciendo para el verano es el Verano Grupo Pequeño con InterVarsity. Estamos estudiando el libro de Eclesiastés, y para aquellos que no tienen ni idea de lo que se trata todo esto ... Básicamente, el rey Salomón está pasando por una crisis de mediana edad. En vez de querer un Ferrari y/o chicas sexys (quiero decir, estamos hablando de por lo menos uno de los chicos más ricos de la región de la época - ya lo tiene), es la meditación de la vida. Al principio él está sonando muy emotivo sobre todo - todo tiene sentido, todo a cambio de nada, etc, y luego nos damos cuenta que hay más a él. Como hemos estudiado, los principales puntos que hemos encontrado son:
  • No actuar egoísta porque no se puede llevar con usted
  • Las cosas que haces aquí abajo puedes ser arruinado por sus herederos
  • Trabajar sólo por ese sueldo no vale la pena - usted debe trabajar para lo que te va a encantar.

Acabamos de terminar el capítulo 5, de 14, y, teniendo en cuenta que nunca he leído esa parte de la Biblia, me alegro de estar haciendo esto.
 


No puedo recordar si he publicado nada aquí sobre mi familia ensamblada o si estoy confundiendo con algo que no me había fijado. - Dios sabe que tengo bastantes de ellos que nunca he publicado, algunos de los cuales están más allá de su fecha de relevancia. Por lo tanto, cuando digo "mi ex familia ensamblada", es porque mi padre se divorció de mi ex-madrastra año pasado. Pero yo estoy mencionando esto porque, el día del padre, decidí llamar a mi padre. Durante la conversación, mencionó que mi (ex) sobrinastro Leavi (el hijo de uno de mis hermanastras, Jessica) se trasladó a Atlanta con ella y su novio (También debo mencionar que Jessica está embarazada con el niño a su novio) para ir a la escuela secundaria allí con la esperanza de obtener una beca de baloncesto. No voy a pretender que los dos de nosotros realmente se llevan bien - la única razón por la que importa para él en un nivel más alto que una persona al azar que oigo hablar es de los lazos familiares residuales, y lo consideraré una buena señal si él siente lo mismo - pero aún así contar esto como una buena noticia. Mi (ex-) hermanastro Luke, por su parte, decidió abandonar la escuela secundaria, que ahora trabaja para McDonald. Por lo que he visto, él nunca le gustó la escuela. Por un lado, por lo menos él tiene un trabajo (que, no importa qué, es más de lo que puedo decir) y estoy seguro que tiene sus razones, aparte de que no le gustaba la escuela - tal vez su madre (mi ex-madrastra) y lo necesitaba el dinero. Por otro lado ... Siempre me he criado con la idea de que me iba a la secundaria, graduados, llegar a la universidad y conseguir por lo menos una maestría (y, en realidad, sólo conseguir una licenciatura, en esta economía, no será suficiente). Siempre he sido muy inteligente - mis calificaciones fueron siempre una especie de dudoso, sin embargo. Pero yo nunca he llegado al punto donde quería abandonar. Y voy a admitir que, aunque soy capaz de empatizar con otras personas, esa capacidad no es tan fuerte como lo es con los demás. Así que, como un descargo de responsabilidad, ya sé lo que voy a decir puede hacer que me suena como un pendejo, pero...
Sinceramente, tengo la tendencia a creer que alguien que abandonó la escuela secundaria, a menos que tengan una razón válida (problemas económicos, problemas de salud, que necesita para cuidar de un familiar, o la intimidación ha llegado a un punto crítico) y/o haga que su vida lo suficientemente juntos (fuente estable de ingresos, su propia casa, etc), es probablemente perezosos y/o incompetentes. , la escuela secundaria no es fácil, pero no tiene la intención de ser fácil y tampoco lo es la pobreza y la falta de progreso en el trabajo. Y, a menos que usted es muy afortunado, no se puede ir demasiado lejos con sólo un diploma de escuela secundaria, y menos que eso es una mala idea. Si alguna vez decidieron formar una familia con ese alrededor de su cuello, no iba a funcionar muy bien. Por supuesto, si me entero más acerca de sus circunstancias, podría ser más comprensivo. Pero si Lucas realmente quiere hacer algo de sí mismo, teniendo algo más que un diploma de escuela secundaria es esencial.

Summer School, Summer Small Group, and My (ex-)Stepbrother the Dropout

As you may or may not be aware, of all of the core school subjects out there, math tends to be my weakness. As such, I'm in an Algebra class for school. Officially, it's listed as "College Algebra with Data Analysis", but even I have to call it not that hard--not quite an easy A, but I'm sure I'll pass. I mean, it's stuff I've learned before (although I need the refresher), so it's not like I'm having to work with new concepts. And. once I'm done (and get the transcript), I'll finally be listed as a Senior! Any math class I'll take from here on out (because, really, it never ends...) will probably be Statistics and such.

Another thing I'm doing for the summer is the Summer Small Group with InterVarsity. We're studying the Book of Ecclesiastes, and for those who have no idea what that's all about... Basically, King Solomon is going through a midlife crisis. Instead of wanting a sports car and/or hot chicks (I mean, we're talking at least one of the richest guys in the region of that time--he already has it), he's meditating on life. And at first he's sounding pretty emo about it all--everything's pointless, it's all for nothing, etc. And then we find out that there's more to it. As we've studied, the main points we've found were:
  • Don't act selfish because you can't take it with you
  • The stuff you do down here might get ruined by your inheritors
  • Working just for that paycheck isn't worth it--work for what you'll love. 
We just finished Chapter 5 of 14, and, considering that I've never read that part of the Bible, I'm glad to be doing this.

I can't even remember if I've posted anything on here about my Step-family or if I'm confusing it with one of the drafts--Lord knows I've got enough of them that I've never posted, some of which are past their relevancy date. So, when I call them my ex-stepfamily, it's because my dad divorced my ex-stepmother last year. But I'm mentioning this because, on Father's Day, I decided to call my dad. During the conversation, he mentioned that my (ex-) stepnephew Leavi (the son of one of my stepsisters, Jessica) moved to Atlanta with her and her boyfriend (not to mention that Jessica's pregnant with her boyfriends' kid) to go to high school there with hopes to get a basketball scholarship. I'm not going to pretend that Leavi and I are really close--about the only reason I care for him at a level higher than some random person I hear about is out of residual familial bonds, and I'll consider it a good sign if he feels the same--but I still count this as good news. My (ex-) stepbrother Luke, on the other hand, decided to drop out of High School and work for McDonald's. From what I've seen, he's never really liked school. On the one hand, at least he has a job (which, no matter what, is more than I can say) and I'm sure he has his reasons aside from not liking school--maybe his mother (my ex-stepmother) and him needed the money. On the other hand... I've always been raised with the idea that I'd go to High School, graduate, get to college and get at least a Master's Degree (and, really, just getting a Bachelor's Degree, in this economy, won't cut it). I've always been pretty smart--my grades were always sort of iffy, though. But I've never reached the point where I wanted to drop out. And I'll admit that, while I'm able to empathise with other people, that ability isn't as strong as it is with others. So, as a disclaimer, I know what I'm about to say might make me sound like a jerk, but...

I honestly have the tendency to believe that someone who's dropped out of High School, unless they've got a valid reason (economic issues, health issues, needing to take care of a family member, or bullying has reached a critical point) and/or have their life sufficiently together (stable source of income, their own home, etc), is probably lazy and/or incompetent. Yes, High School isn't easy, but it isn't meant to be easy and neither is poverty and lack of job advancement. And, unless you're really lucky, you can't go too far with just a High School Diploma--not having even that is a bad idea. If they ever decided to raise a family with that around their neck, it just wouldn't work too well. Of course, if I find out more about their circumstances,  I might be more sympathetic. But if Luke really wants to make something of himself, having something more than a High School Diploma is essential.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Porque era tan perezoso para escribir de vi viaje a las Islas Catalinas...

En primer lugar, para cualquier persona que pueda haber estado esperando que publicar algo acerca de mi viaje:
Sí, lo había planeado escribir eso. Sin embargo, debido a la pereza, siendo ocupado con la escuela, y otros factores que no puedo pensar, yo nunca lo publicó.
Había conseguido incluso tomar 161 fotos durante esa época - no todos de calidad profesional, pero suficiente todavía - y que esperaba se aproveche de ellas antes de pensar "No vale la pena" (si así lo desea, sin embargo, voy a publicar un enlace a la carpeta donde está). En cualquier caso, era una maravilla poder salir de Tucson / escuela por una semana y en realidad tienen una vacaciones de primavera. No me malinterpreten, me encanta Tucson y realmente me gusta la escuela ... más o menos (ver más abajo para más información), pero yo estaba pasando una semana con básicamente todos mis amigos en la escuela en la isla bonita. De los amigos, de una manera llegué a conocer a mi grupo de estudio superior (estábamos estudiando el primer semestre del Evangelio de Marcos, por lo tanto, Marcos 1). (Yo estaba a punto de escribir algo más, pero probablemente voy a esperar hasta que esto pensé en escribir se vuelve más significativa o se aleja.)

Pero, ahora que he regresado de su viaje, he encontrado un nuevo problema: aunque me gusta la escuela y el mayor / menor estoy estudiando para, en cierto modo me parece que el viaje me dio el impulso para salir de la país por un tiempo para un viaje de misión. Antes de que me salvó por Dios, una de las cosas que me atrajo a Gracia a las Naciones fue la posibilidad de ayudar en una iglesia o dos en Hermosillo, México. Eso nunca ha pasado, aunque ahora he estado trabajando como voluntaria en el Centro de Alcance - que posiblemente se involucren más con la comunidad de refugiados si tengo el tiempo. Y luego está el factor de que muchos de mis amigos en InterVarsity han ido en estos viajes - principalmente a China. Michelle va a Kenia y Vi se va a China durante el verano, y Molly (la hermana menor de Vi, compañera de Marcos 1, y una amiga) que, hasta donde yo sé, se va a Vietnam el próximo verano. Debe tenerse en cuenta que la evangelización en China se llevó a cabo en su mayoría cerca de una de las universidades (por la vida de mí, no puedo recordar dónde) y no recuerdo que haya ninguna represión por parte del gobierno. La idea de ir a China no le sentó demasiado bien conmigo, sobre todo porque yo no hablo el idioma ... y, en definitiva, quiero ir a Europa!

Para ser honesto, lo que mucho de esto se reduce a que, aunque estoy muy contento donde estoy ahora mismo, yo también estoy buscando algo nuevo. No creo que me puede llamar "estar cansado de la escuela", aunque sólo sea porque es un sentimiento con ganas de hacer algo nuevo en lugar de no hacer nada. Podría ser que estoy cansado de desempleo, pero lo que quiero hacer algo significativo. Si significa evangelizar / voluntario para ayudar a alguna iglesia en un país extranjero / lo que sea, siendo un pasante por alguna organización local relevante para mi trabajo principal, o remunerado ... Y cualquier cosa relacionada con el viaje de la misión tendrá que pasar el año que viene, porque tengo una clase más que tengo que terminar en el Pima College y luego he terminado con esa parte de la escuela! Y luego, por supuesto que voy para mi maestría ... sí, tomando un tiempo libre para recargar y renovar me podría hacer algo bueno.

Because I was too lazy to blog about the Catalina Island Trip...

First off, just to get it out of the way:
Yes, I had been planning to blog about that trip. Due to laziness, being busy with school, and other factors that I can't think of, that was never posted. I even managed to take quite a few pictures, and I planned to use that in there. Long story short, it was great to be able to get out of Tucson/school for a week and actually have a Spring Break. Don't get me wrong, I love Tucson and I don't actually mind school too much (see below for a disclaimer), but I was spending a week with some of my friends basically all of my friends on campus on this pretty island. Of those friends, I sort of got to know my Mark 1 group (studying the first half of the Gospel of Mark) better. (I was about to write something more, but I'll probably wait until this thing I thought about writing becomes more meaningful or drifts away.)

But now I've come back with something else: as much as I like school and the major/minor I'm studying for, I think the trip sort of gave me the urge to get out of the country for a while for a mission trip. Before I got saved, one of the things that drew me to Grace to the Nations was the possibility to help out at a church or two at Hermosillo, Mexico. That's never happened, though now I've been volunteering with the GO Center--I'll possibly get more involved with the refugee community if I have the time. And then there's the factor that several of my friends at InterVarsity have gone on such trips--mainly to China. Michelle is going to Kenya and Vi is going to China over the summer, and Molly (Vi's younger sister and fellow Mark 1 group member) who, as far as I can tell, will be going to Vietnam next summer. I should state for the record that evangelism in China was mostly done near one of the universities (for the life of me, I can't remember where) and I don't recall there being any crackdowns by the government. The idea of going to China didn't sit too well with me, primarily because I don't speak the language--I'll need to check to see how important that really is, although I have an issue with going to a different country where the locals don't speak English--it feels rude of me to expect that from them... to heck with it, I want to go to Europe!

To be honest, what a lot of this comes down to is that, while I'm pretty happy where I am right now, I'm also looking for something new. I don't think I can just call it "being tired with school", if only because it's a feeling wanting to do something new instead of doing nothing. It could be that I'm tired of unemployment, but I want to do something meaningful. If it means evangelising/volunteering to help some church in a foreign country/whatever, being an Intern for some local organisation relevant to my major, or gainful employment... And any mission stuff will have to happen next summer, because I've got one more class that I need to finish at Pima College and then I'm done with that part of school! And then of course I'm going for my Master's... yeah, taking some time off to recharge and refresh might do me some good.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Update--January 13-19

Last week, Large Group (InterVarsity) started up for the semester--something that, of course, I was looking forward to. For the next couple of weeks, the theme is essentially "Sex from a Christian/Biblical Point-of-View", an awkward subject but something that needs to be addressed. Large Group meetings are on Thursday, and I ended up going to a Leadership (Planning) Meeting the day after, where apparently I'll be an apprentice for Small Group leader--there will be several others that are in a similar situation, including the younger sister of one of the current leaders of my Small Group (who, unsurprisingly, will be a co-leader of that group). Although my previous experience with actual leadership--being the Vice-President of my High School Drama Club--was not successful, I'm feeling more confident about this. It'll be a progressive build-up--slightly more duties assigned to me before I'm officially a Small Group leader. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous, but I also know that God has big plans for me. Edit: apparently, I won't be a Small Group Co-Leader, and I'm not too sure what Molly's going to be doing (maybe Co-Leader of that group?).  However, while I won't have any leadership positions, I'll hopefully have a chance to sharpen up my skills for next time.


Another thing is that I will be going on what's called The Daniel Fast starting on the 22nd of this month and lasting for three weeks (the link provided is a list of the foods I can and cannot have during this time). This is the second time I've gone through this, and I managed through it--though my body seemed to compensate by me eating more fruits. The idea behind it isn't just to go through a fast, but to become closer to God in the process, which is an endeavor I hope to be fruitful, considering the previous paragraph.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Spring 2013 Schedule and Other News

Monday/Wednesday/Friday:
  • GEOG 302: Introduction to Sustainable Development
    • "Introduction to Sustainable Development is a foundational course in understanding the policies and strategies that constitute 'smart' regional development in US metropolitan areas." So, basically, it's a class needed for my minor (Regional Development) that'll discuss ecologically-beneficial concepts with regards to developing metro areas.
    • 10:00 a.m.--10:50 a.m.
  • POL 413: Human Security. I don't even know what it's about... From 1:00 p.m. to 1:50 p.m.
  • These two are going to be in Harvill Building.
 Tuesday/Thursday:
  • SGPP 300A: Politics, Policy, and Governance: America and the World. From 3:30 to 4:45, in the Social Sciences Building (which I know pretty well).
I couldn't be bothered to write a Christmas blog post, so here it is... So, I got an electric razor (though, technically I already have one, the other razor isn't that good--really, most of the time, I just want to trim my beard when it gets too thick), 2013 calendar, University of Arizona key fob, The Amazing Spider-Man DVD (the newest one/the one with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone)... If you count my new phone as an early Christmas present, there's that... Really, that's about it. I mean, not that I'm complaining--I only specifically asked for the razor and DVD.

To be honest, even before I started this blog back in 2011, I was really hoping that there would be at least some activity going on here--a comment every once in a while, vaguely frequent readers... you know, stuff like that. While I'm not 100% sure about the latter, pretty much none of my posts have comments on them. If I went a month without them, that'd be one thing. I've had this for a couple of days over a year. Sure, on my part, I update infrequently--this is the only post for December that I've made, for example-- and there really isn't much that happens that could make this blog the most interesting, but the lack of feedback really hurts the incentive to write, especially my Rosethorn story. I'm still going to keep this, but I'm thinking of using my WordPress account that I needed for Struggle for the Presidency to post my story (and the ideas I have for it) and leave this as my personal blog--I'll edit in the link for that later on.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Death and Divorce

Last night, I heard from my mom, who had heard from my Aunt Connie--my father's sister--that my paternal grandmother--Zelpha--would be going to a hospice (if she isn't there already) and my father and stepmother were planning on divorcing. Of course, this isn't good news, but my feelings on this are complicated. I'm going to see if I an write about this and still seem halfway human about it. Note--December 8, 2012: we were misinformed. She won't be going to a hospice--it was just to the hospital, and now she'll be going to a rest centre. I can't be bothered to go through the rest of the paragraphs to edit it all out; a lot of it still applies, even though my grandmother won't die. It was just something I wanted to get out of the way.

I wasn't even born yet--probably not even yet conceived--when my first grandmother--Marie--died. You see, my mom was almost 39 when she had me (via C-Section, and I was 3 pounds, 10 ounces), and my maternal grandmother was almost 75 when she died. I was one years old when my maternal grandfather--Clinton Curtis--died, and was around the same age. So, by the time I was old enough to remember anything up to this point, all I had was one set of grandparents. From what I understand, my Dougan Grandparents would've been great to know had they been alive long enough for me to really know. I might not have always gotten along with them, but I'd nonetheless love them anyhow. Thankfully, I have a rough idea of what they were like in their children--my mom, aunts, and uncles. My paternal grandparents, on the other hand, never seemed that close with me. Not to say that they didn't like me, but... I'll be honest when I say that Grandma Zee's death isn't affecting me as hard as it "should" be, even though she's my last surviving grandparent--my grandfather Earl died when I was 13 after having suffered a stroke/collapse the year before and slowly weakening. I'm not exactly that good about grieving normally as it is--even though "we all grieve differently", I still feel out of place in that regard. On the other hand, I guess, after not even having a proper full set of grandparents throughout my life, it just feels less like I'm losing someone I care about and more like an inevitability I should just accept.

When I really think about this, it makes me wish I had some grandparents I could properly miss. I mean, sure, there was Grandma and Grandpa Dougan, but it's more of a "I wish I could've actually met them before they died" sort of thing than actually missing them. For that matter, I'm not so sure I was really close with anyone aside from my mother and certain members of my family until somewhere around 7th grade. It wasn't so much that I didn't understand love, but friendship seemed an almost half-distant concept until that point. So, when I lost my grandfather, I understood it but it never really struck me like it would a normal person. Then again, I'd probably grieve harder if one of my close friends died--someone I interact with often, someone I'm comfortable talking with... someone I actually know.

Another thing is that, for some reason, my father and stepmother decided to have a divorce after around 12 years of marriage. To be honest, though, I haven't really paid that much attention to their relationship. I sort of just assumed that things were okay, though I haven't been over there at their house since... Thanksgiving 2010? (So, yeah, basically, if they're a Nester or married into that family/in-law, I'm pretty much distant from them.) And I'm sure I've written about this before, but it would appear that nobody I actually know that's part of my step-family is Christian. I'm not even sure who all even believes in a god for that matter.