Escuela de Verano, Verano Grupo Pequeño, y Mi ex-hermanastro que Abandonó la Escuela Secundaria

Como usted puede o no puede tener en cuenta, de todas las materias escolares básicas por ahí, matemáticas suele ser mi peor. Por lo tanto, estoy en una clase de álgebra en la escuela. Oficialmente, está catalogado como "Algebra de Colegio con el análisis de datos", pero incluso para mí no es tan difícil - no es la clase más fácil que he tomado, pero estoy seguro de que voy a pasar. Quiero decir, son cosas que he aprendido antes (aunque me falta el actualización), así que no es como que estoy teniendo que trabajar con nuevos conceptos. Y. una vez que haya terminado (y obtener la transcripción), por fin voy a ser catalogado como un Sénior! Cualquier clase de matemáticas me quedo de aquí en adelante (porque, en realidad, nunca termina ...) probablemente será Estadísticas y tal.

Otra de las cosas que estoy haciendo para el verano es el Verano Grupo Pequeño con InterVarsity. Estamos estudiando el libro de Eclesiastés, y para aquellos que no tienen ni idea de lo que se trata todo esto ... Básicamente, el rey Salomón está pasando por una crisis de mediana edad. En vez de querer un Ferrari y/o chicas sexys (quiero decir, estamos hablando de por lo menos uno de los chicos más ricos de la región de la época - ya lo tiene), es la meditación de la vida. Al principio él está sonando muy emotivo sobre todo - todo tiene sentido, todo a cambio de nada, etc, y luego nos damos cuenta que hay más a él. Como hemos estudiado, los principales puntos que hemos encontrado son:

• No actuar egoísta porque no se puede llevar con usted
• Las cosas que haces aquí abajo puedes ser arruinado por sus herederos
• Trabajar sólo por ese sueldo no vale la pena - usted debe trabajar para lo que te va a encantar.

Acabamos de terminar el capítulo 5, de 14, y, teniendo en cuenta que nunca he leído esa parte de la Biblia, me alegro de estar haciendo esto. 

No puedo recordar si he publicado nada aquí sobre mi familia ensamblada o si estoy confundiendo con algo que no me había fijado. - Dios sabe que tengo bastantes de ellos que nunca he publicado, algunos de los cuales están más allá de su fecha de relevancia. Por lo tanto, cuando digo "mi ex familia ensamblada", es porque mi padre se divorció de mi ex-madrastra año pasado. Pero yo estoy mencionando esto porque, el día del padre, decidí llamar a mi padre. Durante la conversación, mencionó que mi (ex) sobrinastro Leavi (el hijo de uno de mis hermanastras, Jessica) se trasladó a Atlanta con ella y su novio (También debo mencionar que Jessica está embarazada con el niño a su novio) para ir a la escuela secundaria allí con la esperanza de obtener una beca de baloncesto. No voy a pretender que los dos de nosotros realmente se llevan bien - la única razón por la que importa para él en un nivel más alto que una persona al azar que oigo hablar es de los lazos familiares residuales, y lo consideraré una buena señal si él siente lo mismo - pero aún así contar esto como una buena noticia. Mi (ex-) hermanastro Luke, por su parte, decidió abandonar la escuela secundaria, que ahora trabaja para McDonald. Por lo que he visto, él nunca le gustó la escuela. Por un lado, por lo menos él tiene un trabajo (que, no importa qué, es más de lo que puedo decir) y estoy seguro que tiene sus razones, aparte de que no le gustaba la escuela - tal vez su madre (mi ex-madrastra) y lo necesitaba el dinero. Por otro lado ... Siempre me he criado con la idea de que me iba a la secundaria, graduados, llegar a la universidad y conseguir por lo menos una maestría (y, en realidad, sólo conseguir una licenciatura, en esta economía, no será suficiente). Siempre he sido muy inteligente - mis calificaciones fueron siempre una especie de dudoso, sin embargo. Pero yo nunca he llegado al punto donde quería abandonar. Y voy a admitir que, aunque soy capaz de empatizar con otras personas, esa capacidad no es tan fuerte como lo es con los demás. Así que, como un descargo de responsabilidad, ya sé lo que voy a decir puede hacer que me suena como un pendejo, pero...
Sinceramente, tengo la tendencia a creer que alguien que abandonó la escuela secundaria, a menos que tengan una razón válida (problemas económicos, problemas de salud, que necesita para cuidar de un familiar, o la intimidación ha llegado a un punto crítico) y/o haga que su vida lo suficientemente juntos (fuente estable de ingresos, su propia casa, etc), es probablemente perezosos y/o incompetentes. Sí, la escuela secundaria no es fácil, pero no tiene la intención de ser fácil y tampoco lo es la pobreza y la falta de progreso en el trabajo. Y, a menos que usted es muy afortunado, no se puede ir demasiado lejos con sólo un diploma de escuela secundaria, y menos que eso es una mala idea. Si alguna vez decidieron formar una familia con ese alrededor de su cuello, no iba a funcionar muy bien. Por supuesto, si me entero más acerca de sus circunstancias, podría ser más comprensivo. Pero si Lucas realmente quiere hacer algo de sí mismo, teniendo algo más que un diploma de escuela secundaria es esencial.

Summer School, Summer Small Group, and My (ex-)Stepbrother the Dropout

As you may or may not be aware, of all of the core school subjects out there, math tends to be my weakness. As such, I'm in an Algebra class for school. Officially, it's listed as "College Algebra with Data Analysis", but even I have to call it not that hard--not quite an easy A, but I'm sure I'll pass. I mean, it's stuff I've learned before (although I need the refresher), so it's not like I'm having to work with new concepts. And. once I'm done (and get the transcript), I'll finally be listed as a Senior! Any math class I'll take from here on out (because, really, it never ends...) will probably be Statistics and such.

Another thing I'm doing for the summer is the Summer Small Group with InterVarsity. We're studying the Book of Ecclesiastes, and for those who have no idea what that's all about... Basically, King Solomon is going through a midlife crisis. Instead of wanting a sports car and/or hot chicks (I mean, we're talking at least one of the richest guys in the region of that time--he already has it), he's meditating on life. And at first he's sounding pretty emo about it all--everything's pointless, it's all for nothing, etc. And then we find out that there's more to it. As we've studied, the main points we've found were:

• Don't act selfish because you can't take it with you
• The stuff you do down here might get ruined by your inheritors
• Working just for that paycheck isn't worth it--work for what you'll love. 

We just finished Chapter 5 of 14, and, considering that I've never read that part of the Bible, I'm glad to be doing this.

I can't even remember if I've posted anything on here about my Step-family or if I'm confusing it with one of the drafts--Lord knows I've got enough of them that I've never posted, some of which are past their relevancy date. So, when I call them my ex-stepfamily, it's because my dad divorced my ex-stepmother last year. But I'm mentioning this because, on Father's Day, I decided to call my dad. During the conversation, he mentioned that my (ex-) stepnephew Leavi (the son of one of my stepsisters, Jessica) moved to Atlanta with her and her boyfriend (not to mention that Jessica's pregnant with her boyfriends' kid) to go to high school there with hopes to get a basketball scholarship. I'm not going to pretend that Leavi and I are really close--about the only reason I care for him at a level higher than some random person I hear about is out of residual familial bonds, and I'll consider it a good sign if he feels the same--but I still count this as good news. My (ex-) stepbrother Luke, on the other hand, decided to drop out of High School and work for McDonald's. From what I've seen, he's never really liked school. On the one hand, at least he has a job (which, no matter what, is more than I can say) and I'm sure he has his reasons aside from not liking school--maybe his mother (my ex-stepmother) and him needed the money. On the other hand... I've always been raised with the idea that I'd go to High School, graduate, get to college and get at least a Master's Degree (and, really, just getting a Bachelor's Degree, in this economy, won't cut it). I've always been pretty smart--my grades were always sort of iffy, though. But I've never reached the point where I wanted to drop out. And I'll admit that, while I'm able to empathise with other people, that ability isn't as strong as it is with others. So, as a disclaimer, I know what I'm about to say might make me sound like a jerk, but...

I honestly have the tendency to believe that someone who's dropped out of High School, unless they've got a valid reason (economic issues, health issues, needing to take care of a family member, or bullying has reached a critical point) and/or have their life sufficiently together (stable source of income, their own home, etc), is probably lazy and/or incompetent. Yes, High School isn't easy, but it isn't meant to be easy and neither is poverty and lack of job advancement. And, unless you're really lucky, you can't go too far with just a High School Diploma--not having even that is a bad idea. If they ever decided to raise a family with that around their neck, it just wouldn't work too well. Of course, if I find out more about their circumstances,  I might be more sympathetic. But if Luke really wants to make something of himself, having something more than a High School Diploma is essential.

Death and Divorce

Last night, I heard from my mom, who had heard from my Aunt Connie--my father's sister--that my paternal grandmother--Zelpha--would be going to a hospice (if she isn't there already) and my father and stepmother were planning on divorcing. Of course, this isn't good news, but my feelings on this are complicated. I'm going to see if I an write about this and still seem halfway human about it. Note--December 8, 2012: we were misinformed. She won't be going to a hospice--it was just to the hospital, and now she'll be going to a rest centre. I can't be bothered to go through the rest of the paragraphs to edit it all out; a lot of it still applies, even though my grandmother won't die. It was just something I wanted to get out of the way.

I wasn't even born yet--probably not even yet conceived--when my first grandmother--Marie--died. You see, my mom was almost 39 when she had me (via C-Section, and I was 3 pounds, 10 ounces), and my maternal grandmother was almost 75 when she died. I was one years old when my maternal grandfather--Clinton Curtis--died, and was around the same age. So, by the time I was old enough to remember anything up to this point, all I had was one set of grandparents. From what I understand, my Dougan Grandparents would've been great to know had they been alive long enough for me to really know. I might not have always gotten along with them, but I'd nonetheless love them anyhow. Thankfully, I have a rough idea of what they were like in their children--my mom, aunts, and uncles. My paternal grandparents, on the other hand, never seemed that close with me. Not to say that they didn't like me, but... I'll be honest when I say that Grandma Zee's death isn't affecting me as hard as it "should" be, even though she's my last surviving grandparent--my grandfather Earl died when I was 13 after having suffered a stroke/collapse the year before and slowly weakening. I'm not exactly that good about grieving normally as it is--even though "we all grieve differently", I still feel out of place in that regard. On the other hand, I guess, after not even having a proper full set of grandparents throughout my life, it just feels less like I'm losing someone I care about and more like an inevitability I should just accept.

When I really think about this, it makes me wish I had some grandparents I could properly miss. I mean, sure, there was Grandma and Grandpa Dougan, but it's more of a "I wish I could've actually met them before they died" sort of thing than actually missing them. For that matter, I'm not so sure I was really close with anyone aside from my mother and certain members of my family until somewhere around 7th grade. It wasn't so much that I didn't understand love, but friendship seemed an almost half-distant concept until that point. So, when I lost my grandfather, I understood it but it never really struck me like it would a normal person. Then again, I'd probably grieve harder if one of my close friends died--someone I interact with often, someone I'm comfortable talking with... someone I actually know.

Another thing is that, for some reason, my father and stepmother decided to have a divorce after around 12 years of marriage. To be honest, though, I haven't really paid that much attention to their relationship. I sort of just assumed that things were okay, though I haven't been over there at their house since... Thanksgiving 2010? (So, yeah, basically, if they're a Nester or married into that family/in-law, I'm pretty much distant from them.) And I'm sure I've written about this before, but it would appear that nobody I actually know that's part of my step-family is Christian. I'm not even sure who all even believes in a god for that matter.

So, February 19-25 was sort of eventful...

First off, yes, I haven't posted anything since I finished my fast--I'll also go ahead and post the (hopefully!) completed version of the skit in another post--I'll go over that in here later. Part of it is because of school--I'm focusing my time on that--and, frankly, I don't really think that there was much going on in my life worth writing about. This week, though, there is.

Wednesday:
The week before, if I remember correctly, I had a test for Public Policy and Administration. Long story short, while Part 1 (Multiple Choice) got a good grade I had to read out Part 2 (written version) due to readability issues.

That evening, as usual, I had Fusion--I'm sure I've gone over what that is before, but I'll answer anyone who isn't clear on it. We didn't have time to break off into discussion groups, so we got into groups of three for prayer. One of the things that was on my heart (though it's the only thing that I can think of from that moment) had to do with my dad and "immediate" stepfamily. For context, they--my dad, stepmother (April), stepbrother (Luke Grove), and stepnephew (Leavi Mitchell) (son of my youngest stepsister--Jessica)--all live near Flagstaff with my grandmother (who moved in a couple of years ago). I'm not exactly close with them for different reasons, and I prefer keeping this blog a secret from them, but they're still family. Their financial situation has never been the best, and it looks like my dad's previous source of income as owner of his small business/website Lobogunz (buying and selling guns and ammunition) hit a snag--the last time I heard about this, he was going to North Dakota to work on oil wells there.

Another thing is that, except for my grandmother (who I'm sure hasn't been able to go to church in a while), none of them believe in God. From what I understand, my dad used to be a Christian, was a nominal believer when I was younger, and stopped believing around the time I was 8 or so--my best guess. I have no idea whether or not April knew Christ, and I never bothered to ask her about it, but she's not a believer now. (I might also add that, after thinking about this, being around them may have planted a couple of destructive seeds that led to my previous lack of belief in God, among other things) As such, neither Luke nor Leavi are believers and that was part of my fears: that they never will, and their eventual destination will be separate from the Lord. This wasn't the first time I felt this, but it never really struck me at any magnitude until either August or September 2010. This was before I came to accept Christ back into my life, but there was this very same thing tugging at my heart--that they'd be going to Hell. I've been thinking/praying about it off and on since that night, but I was also given reassurance that their fate isn't carved in stone. Does that mean they'll be saved eventually (or at leasst one of them)? I don't know. Do I want them to be? Absolutely--I'd want them to know God as the Benevolent Heavenly Father that I know Him as. And I also know that, if I'm going to be asking for this to come, I have to invest something for this to happen--time, effort, love, or whatever I need to. I'll also need to fight my doubts and insecurities--I can't simply say that I can't do this, that I don't have the power to help change their destinies. If nothing else, I might be able to influence Luke and Leavi.

Thursday:
That evening, we had a meeting for Grace Drama--as I said before, the script is either completed or effectively done--where we went over some things about it: we'll be starting to rehearse almost every Saturday until Palm Sunday (I'll be one of Jesus' Disciples), and we've got quite a few cast members for both the English and Spanish services (we finally have the people we need to play all but the crowd/rest of the Disciples). I am so EXCITED!!!

Immediately afterwards, there was a memorial for Jonathan Centeno. I initially knew him only as being Wendy Reyes' boyfriend/probable future husband (if I remember right)--for context, Wendy is one of my friends at Grace. So, I figured he had to have been a decent guy. That Sunday, though, they were in a car accident. She survived, albeit shocked; he didn't make it. Out of respect, I decided to attend. Now, they were having the memorial in the Large Chapel, which can seat around 1,000 people. When I got there, almost all the seats were full. As I later found out, Jonathan was a man of God, well-known and cared about by not only hundreds of people but a handful of pastors (including a couple of those that work for Grace). It didn't take too long for me to think, "Wow, I really wish I knew this guy!"

Friday/Saturday:
Steve and I had been planning to go to The Rock and Worship Roadshow since a few weeks ago. It's basically this touring concert featuring all those bands on the home page--note: Bart Millard is the lead singer of MercyMe.

• I got up at around 5:15 a.m. so I could be awake enough to meet Steve by 6:15 or so.
• 6:30-ish, I wanted to take a picture from inside his truck looking outside, as sunrise hadn't exactly come yet. I soon found out the batteries in my camera were dead, so I couldn't take any pictures.
• We ate at Cracker Barrel for breakfast, got gas, and immediately got back on the road. Somewhere between 6:15 and this point, out of lack of much of anything better to do I started writing notes on my copy of the script. I had also noticed that gas prices were higher than usual--figures that they'll try to get a head start before Spring Break.
• We were also planning on going to the Arizona Science Center. I guess we both assumed that it would be something like the Science Museum in Minnesota--I highly recommend it if you're in the Twin Cities for any appreciable length of time. Alas, while it wasn't totally boring, it was mostly designed for younger children--a field trip from some local school was there, and they were definitely more in their element there than were were.
• Soon after, we ate at the Tilted Kilt--a nearby restaurant--for lunch and at the Hard Rock Cafe a little later. Somewhere during that time, we found the motel and got our room.
• It was around 4:30 when we got in line--not too bad, all things considered, and we (along with pretty much everyone else in the line) actually ended up moving ahead closer to the doors. I couldn't really see it, as I couldn't really be bothered to leave my spot, but it seemed that the group of people was spreading quite a distance away (there was around 10,000 people that attended).
• About two hours later, we finally got in. The show itself started at 7 and lasted until 11. Fun was had.
• The next morning, we left to get some late breakfast/early lunch at El Pollo Loco, went to Bass Pro Shops (Steve was looking for... something, I dunno, and I was just looking around), and then went over to Ikea. I had never gone there before, but I had heard about it off and on. Steve got a few things while I got a chocolate and hazelnut candy bar, lingonberry preserves, and a case of 10 batteries--as I later found out, the batteries didn't work for my camera. We ate at Honey Bear's Barbecue due to a previous recommendation by one of Steve's friends--supposedly, it was just as good, if not better, than Famous Sam's. While the food was okay, his friend was mistaken about the quality.
• Got home around 5:30.

I'm not sure what my next post will be on--I'm thinking of posting a story idea I've been developing, and if that goes anywhere I'll work on Chapter 1 of it.

First Blog, and Merry Christmas

I sort of want to skip the awkward pleasantries about this being my first blog and get right to an actually decent subject. Maybe I'll do a more proper "First Blog" in a week, giving an overview about who I am and what to expect from this blog.

First off, Merry Christmas to any of my readers. I decided to jump the gun a bit here--I was originally planning on doing this somewhere around January 10 (more on why that's the case later), but I figured I might as well start now (Christmas Eve). As of right now, I'm in Maricopa, Arizona, where my Aunt Norma and Uncle Billy live--they were both originally from Texas. As far as Christmas goes, there isn't really much in the way of plans--if I were home in Tucson, I'd probably be at the Christmas Eve service at my church Grace to the Nations (that, or I might just attend the morning service). All I know for sure is that, for dinner, we're having burgers (not sure what we're having with it, though I'm having grilled onions and jalapeños on mine), and we might take a tour of the area looking at Christmas lights just did (say/think what you will--at least it's something). Christmas Day, I'm even more clueless. I doubt there'll be much presents due to the economy--not that I'm complaining much; these days I'm lucky if I can think of more than one thing I really want. Actually, we're celebrating Aunt Norma's birthday--we might open presents tonight (if we do, I'll post pictures of them in the next blog). On the 26th, I'm helping Billy over at the Food Bank--gathering food from the local stores, sorting them out, and the like.
The reason I mentioned January 10th was that, as I had originally hoped, I would be going with a couple of my friends from church (including Steve Peterson--someone I originally met back in Pima College--Spring 2010 semester) and some other from Minnesota on a Mission Trip to Hermosillo, Sonora--the capital of Sonora. The trip was cancelled not too long ago--same as the trip before--, but if we had gone, we would have been distributing clothes and feeding the locals, helping out at the local churches, evangelising, and a few other things. Part of what appealed to me about this trip, aside from getting to do at least some of that, was the fact that I've never been to Mexico--not Nogales, Rocky Point/Puerto Peñasco, or anything like that!--and I was really excited to be able to do that. And, before anyone asks, they've done this before. While there may be threats from Narcoterrorism, I have/had no fear about that (no one's died on any of these trips that I've heard of).

Well, that's all I can really think of for tonight that I can't just post in another blog.