Porque era tan perezoso para escribir de vi viaje a las Islas Catalinas...

En primer lugar, para cualquier persona que pueda haber estado esperando que publicar algo acerca de mi viaje:
Sí, lo había planeado escribir eso. Sin embargo, debido a la pereza, siendo ocupado con la escuela, y otros factores que no puedo pensar, yo nunca lo publicó. Había conseguido incluso tomar 161 fotos durante esa época - no todos de calidad profesional, pero suficiente todavía - y que esperaba se aproveche de ellas antes de pensar "No vale la pena" (si así lo desea, sin embargo, voy a publicar un enlace a la carpeta donde está). En cualquier caso, era una maravilla poder salir de Tucson / escuela por una semana y en realidad tienen una vacaciones de primavera. No me malinterpreten, me encanta Tucson y realmente me gusta la escuela ... más o menos (ver más abajo para más información), pero yo estaba pasando una semana con básicamente todos mis amigos en la escuela en la isla bonita. De los amigos, de una manera llegué a conocer a mi grupo de estudio superior (estábamos estudiando el primer semestre del Evangelio de Marcos, por lo tanto, Marcos 1). (Yo estaba a punto de escribir algo más, pero probablemente voy a esperar hasta que esto pensé en escribir se vuelve más significativa o se aleja.)

Pero, ahora que he regresado de su viaje, he encontrado un nuevo problema: aunque me gusta la escuela y el mayor / menor estoy estudiando para, en cierto modo me parece que el viaje me dio el impulso para salir de la país por un tiempo para un viaje de misión. Antes de que me salvó por Dios, una de las cosas que me atrajo a Gracia a las Naciones fue la posibilidad de ayudar en una iglesia o dos en Hermosillo, México. Eso nunca ha pasado, aunque ahora he estado trabajando como voluntaria en el Centro de Alcance - que posiblemente se involucren más con la comunidad de refugiados si tengo el tiempo. Y luego está el factor de que muchos de mis amigos en InterVarsity han ido en estos viajes - principalmente a China. Michelle va a Kenia y Vi se va a China durante el verano, y Molly (la hermana menor de Vi, compañera de Marcos 1, y una amiga) que, hasta donde yo sé, se va a Vietnam el próximo verano. Debe tenerse en cuenta que la evangelización en China se llevó a cabo en su mayoría cerca de una de las universidades (por la vida de mí, no puedo recordar dónde) y no recuerdo que haya ninguna represión por parte del gobierno. La idea de ir a China no le sentó demasiado bien conmigo, sobre todo porque yo no hablo el idioma ... y, en definitiva, quiero ir a Europa!

Para ser honesto, lo que mucho de esto se reduce a que, aunque estoy muy contento donde estoy ahora mismo, yo también estoy buscando algo nuevo. No creo que me puede llamar "estar cansado de la escuela", aunque sólo sea porque es un sentimiento con ganas de hacer algo nuevo en lugar de no hacer nada. Podría ser que estoy cansado de desempleo, pero lo que quiero hacer algo significativo. Si significa evangelizar / voluntario para ayudar a alguna iglesia en un país extranjero / lo que sea, siendo un pasante por alguna organización local relevante para mi trabajo principal, o remunerado ... Y cualquier cosa relacionada con el viaje de la misión tendrá que pasar el año que viene, porque tengo una clase más que tengo que terminar en el Pima College y luego he terminado con esa parte de la escuela! Y luego, por supuesto que voy para mi maestría ... sí, tomando un tiempo libre para recargar y renovar me podría hacer algo bueno.

Because I was too lazy to blog about the Catalina Island Trip...

First off, just to get it out of the way:
Yes, I had been planning to blog about that trip. Due to laziness, being busy with school, and other factors that I can't think of, that was never posted. I even managed to take quite a few pictures, and I planned to use that in there. Long story short, it was great to be able to get out of Tucson/school for a week and actually have a Spring Break. Don't get me wrong, I love Tucson and I don't actually mind school too much (see below for a disclaimer), but I was spending a week with some of my friends basically all of my friends on campus on this pretty island. Of those friends, I sort of got to know my Mark 1 group (studying the first half of the Gospel of Mark) better. (I was about to write something more, but I'll probably wait until this thing I thought about writing becomes more meaningful or drifts away.)

But now I've come back with something else: as much as I like school and the major/minor I'm studying for, I think the trip sort of gave me the urge to get out of the country for a while for a mission trip. Before I got saved, one of the things that drew me to Grace to the Nations was the possibility to help out at a church or two at Hermosillo, Mexico. That's never happened, though now I've been volunteering with the GO Center--I'll possibly get more involved with the refugee community if I have the time. And then there's the factor that several of my friends at InterVarsity have gone on such trips--mainly to China. Michelle is going to Kenya and Vi is going to China over the summer, and Molly (Vi's younger sister and fellow Mark 1 group member) who, as far as I can tell, will be going to Vietnam next summer. I should state for the record that evangelism in China was mostly done near one of the universities (for the life of me, I can't remember where) and I don't recall there being any crackdowns by the government. The idea of going to China didn't sit too well with me, primarily because I don't speak the language--I'll need to check to see how important that really is, although I have an issue with going to a different country where the locals don't speak English--it feels rude of me to expect that from them... to heck with it, I want to go to Europe!

To be honest, what a lot of this comes down to is that, while I'm pretty happy where I am right now, I'm also looking for something new. I don't think I can just call it "being tired with school", if only because it's a feeling wanting to do something new instead of doing nothing. It could be that I'm tired of unemployment, but I want to do something meaningful. If it means evangelising/volunteering to help some church in a foreign country/whatever, being an Intern for some local organisation relevant to my major, or gainful employment... And any mission stuff will have to happen next summer, because I've got one more class that I need to finish at Pima College and then I'm done with that part of school! And then of course I'm going for my Master's... yeah, taking some time off to recharge and refresh might do me some good.

Update--January 13-19

Last week, Large Group (InterVarsity) started up for the semester--something that, of course, I was looking forward to. For the next couple of weeks, the theme is essentially "Sex from a Christian/Biblical Point-of-View", an awkward subject but something that needs to be addressed. Large Group meetings are on Thursday, and I ended up going to a Leadership (Planning) Meeting the day after, where apparently I'll be an apprentice for Small Group leader--there will be several others that are in a similar situation, including the younger sister of one of the current leaders of my Small Group (who, unsurprisingly, will be a co-leader of that group). Although my previous experience with actual leadership--being the Vice-President of my High School Drama Club--was not successful, I'm feeling more confident about this. It'll be a progressive build-up--slightly more duties assigned to me before I'm officially a Small Group leader. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous, but I also know that God has big plans for me. Edit: apparently, I won't be a Small Group Co-Leader, and I'm not too sure what Molly's going to be doing (maybe Co-Leader of that group?).  However, while I won't have any leadership positions, I'll hopefully have a chance to sharpen up my skills for next time.


Another thing is that I will be going on what's called The Daniel Fast starting on the 22nd of this month and lasting for three weeks (the link provided is a list of the foods I can and cannot have during this time). This is the second time I've gone through this, and I managed through it--though my body seemed to compensate by me eating more fruits. The idea behind it isn't just to go through a fast, but to become closer to God in the process, which is an endeavor I hope to be fruitful, considering the previous paragraph.

Spring 2013 Schedule and Other News

Monday/Wednesday/Friday:

• GEOG 302: Introduction to Sustainable Development
• "Introduction to Sustainable Development is a foundational course in understanding the policies and strategies that constitute 'smart' regional development in US metropolitan areas." So, basically, it's a class needed for my minor (Regional Development) that'll discuss ecologically-beneficial concepts with regards to developing metro areas.
• 10:00 a.m.--10:50 a.m.

• POL 413: Human Security. I don't even know what it's about... From 1:00 p.m. to 1:50 p.m.
• These two are going to be in Harvill Building.

 Tuesday/Thursday:

• SGPP 300A: Politics, Policy, and Governance: America and the World. From 3:30 to 4:45, in the Social Sciences Building (which I know pretty well).

I couldn't be bothered to write a Christmas blog post, so here it is... So, I got an electric razor (though, technically I already have one, the other razor isn't that good--really, most of the time, I just want to trim my beard when it gets too thick), 2013 calendar, University of Arizona key fob, The Amazing Spider-Man DVD (the newest one/the one with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone)... If you count my new phone as an early Christmas present, there's that... Really, that's about it. I mean, not that I'm complaining--I only specifically asked for the razor and DVD.

To be honest, even before I started this blog back in 2011, I was really hoping that there would be at least some activity going on here--a comment every once in a while, vaguely frequent readers... you know, stuff like that. While I'm not 100% sure about the latter, pretty much none of my posts have comments on them. If I went a month without them, that'd be one thing. I've had this for a couple of days over a year. Sure, on my part, I update infrequently--this is the only post for December that I've made, for example-- and there really isn't much that happens that could make this blog the most interesting, but the lack of feedback really hurts the incentive to write, especially my Rosethorn story. I'm still going to keep this, but I'm thinking of using my WordPress account that I needed for Struggle for the Presidency to post my story (and the ideas I have for it) and leave this as my personal blog--I'll edit in the link for that later on.

Death and Divorce

Last night, I heard from my mom, who had heard from my Aunt Connie--my father's sister--that my paternal grandmother--Zelpha--would be going to a hospice (if she isn't there already) and my father and stepmother were planning on divorcing. Of course, this isn't good news, but my feelings on this are complicated. I'm going to see if I an write about this and still seem halfway human about it. Note--December 8, 2012: we were misinformed. She won't be going to a hospice--it was just to the hospital, and now she'll be going to a rest centre. I can't be bothered to go through the rest of the paragraphs to edit it all out; a lot of it still applies, even though my grandmother won't die. It was just something I wanted to get out of the way.

I wasn't even born yet--probably not even yet conceived--when my first grandmother--Marie--died. You see, my mom was almost 39 when she had me (via C-Section, and I was 3 pounds, 10 ounces), and my maternal grandmother was almost 75 when she died. I was one years old when my maternal grandfather--Clinton Curtis--died, and was around the same age. So, by the time I was old enough to remember anything up to this point, all I had was one set of grandparents. From what I understand, my Dougan Grandparents would've been great to know had they been alive long enough for me to really know. I might not have always gotten along with them, but I'd nonetheless love them anyhow. Thankfully, I have a rough idea of what they were like in their children--my mom, aunts, and uncles. My paternal grandparents, on the other hand, never seemed that close with me. Not to say that they didn't like me, but... I'll be honest when I say that Grandma Zee's death isn't affecting me as hard as it "should" be, even though she's my last surviving grandparent--my grandfather Earl died when I was 13 after having suffered a stroke/collapse the year before and slowly weakening. I'm not exactly that good about grieving normally as it is--even though "we all grieve differently", I still feel out of place in that regard. On the other hand, I guess, after not even having a proper full set of grandparents throughout my life, it just feels less like I'm losing someone I care about and more like an inevitability I should just accept.

When I really think about this, it makes me wish I had some grandparents I could properly miss. I mean, sure, there was Grandma and Grandpa Dougan, but it's more of a "I wish I could've actually met them before they died" sort of thing than actually missing them. For that matter, I'm not so sure I was really close with anyone aside from my mother and certain members of my family until somewhere around 7th grade. It wasn't so much that I didn't understand love, but friendship seemed an almost half-distant concept until that point. So, when I lost my grandfather, I understood it but it never really struck me like it would a normal person. Then again, I'd probably grieve harder if one of my close friends died--someone I interact with often, someone I'm comfortable talking with... someone I actually know.

Another thing is that, for some reason, my father and stepmother decided to have a divorce after around 12 years of marriage. To be honest, though, I haven't really paid that much attention to their relationship. I sort of just assumed that things were okay, though I haven't been over there at their house since... Thanksgiving 2010? (So, yeah, basically, if they're a Nester or married into that family/in-law, I'm pretty much distant from them.) And I'm sure I've written about this before, but it would appear that nobody I actually know that's part of my step-family is Christian. I'm not even sure who all even believes in a god for that matter.

Election Day and some brief thoughts on it

I'm happy to say that this was my second time voting in a Presidential election. The first time, the candidate I chose was the chairman of a third party--think smaller and more obscure than the Green Party. I wasn't going to vote for McCain, especially after he chose Palin as his running mate, but I wasn't so sure about Obama at the time (that, and I wanted to use that as a loophole). This election, however, I voted for our President. Having received a mail-in early ballot (which I'm sure will be my preference from now on), I never actually voted on Election Day.

Yesterday was actually a good one--the video reports for this series was due that day for Public Policy and Administration, and all I did was help alphabetise them, along with Kate (the second Preceptor), and Kerrie and Amy (the T.A.'s), which took less time than the last time any of us had to sort them. Once I was done with that, I needed to speak with my advisor about what classes I'd need to take, which went well. Having no other classes that day--my Struggle for the Presidency class finished last Thursday--I barely did anything until around 7 p.m. when I went up for Small Group (part of InterVarsity). Great news: we have a newish member--Ariel, and she's a history nerd like me (which is a definite plus). We discussed the Last Supper, prayed over Vi and Molly's dorm (well, the entirety of Coconino, to be exact. And Vi and Molly are the two sisters whose room we have Small Group in.) And, of course, nerding out a bit while I was hearing about the election results (and eventually finding out that Obama won) was the icing on the cake. [Edit--11/21/2012: Although, when I first wrote this, I hadn't seen Ariel before, as I later found out she's no stranger to Vi and Molly. As of today, I'm already glad to know her. Also, she's not just a history nerd, but, really, I'm not complaining.]

(I know that such thoughts have gone through my mind before, but I'm sure it must be odd that quite a few of the people I'm working with are women. I'm the only guy among the Preceptors and T.A.'s, I'm usually the only guy in Small Group--there's a greater gender balance at Large Group, though--and there's only one other man in the Grace Outreach Rock Solid class at church. I mean, it's odd, but I'm okay with that.)

Of course, for every silver lining, there has to be a cloud. I honestly can't remember if I've ever written about this, or if I'm confusing it with a post I decided against publishing, but my father does not like Obama. So you can probably imagine his reactions when he found out who won. I'm not always that great at detecting sarcasm, or when someone's just joking around, and it's especially worse when it's via the internet, but I'm not sure how serious his desire to be part of a secessionist movement is. And as much as I love him, or at the very least feel obligated to do so, that's simply treason in my opinion. Whether he'll get over it or not, I don't know. [Edit--11/21/2012: As clarification... he's an Republican-turned-Tea Partier, and while I'm not a member of any political party I'm at least to the left of him. And, yes, he's still bitter about the election and is probably, at minimum, sympathetic to secessionist movements. My views on such groups being treasonous still remain. I keep feeling as though more developments will come up; how bad, I don't know.]

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