Daniel Fast and More

I've been going through what's called a "Daniel Fast" since the 17th of this month--something my church came up with, I guess. I honestly have only a vague idea about what it's all about, and that part of the idea is to grow closer to God, but here's the essential parts (quoting from memory): no rich foods or sauces, no desserts, no meat, and no soda. At first, I wasn't sure what all the requirements were, so I opted for no soda and only reduced fat foods (nothing over 5 grams). Once I found out, I made the required changes. To be honest, this has to be the longest time I've gone without meat, and I'm actually okay with it--it won't be too permanent, though. As far as drawing closer to Him, it's not exactly hurting. I'm starting to dwell inwardly on a few things more, and oddly enough I found a Fellowship Meeting area on campus--the link might not work, or might redirect to someplace else. Another thing: our church has a rudimentary drama program and I'm planning on getting involved in it--don't get your hopes up; we're mostly talking more along the lines of skits than Shakespeare, though there's still hope for it. Plan on me advertising for it on here! Lastly, I'll be going to a couple of Christian concerts around February--the first one is at Calvary Chapel East Campus, and the other one... somewhere in Phoenix. I'll also be working with Feed My Starving Children with my friend Steve sometime soon, and we're going to be in Hermosillo for the last 3 or so days of Spring Break--expect plenty of pictures! Forgot to pay the sponsor for the Calvary Newsboys concert, so I couldn't go to that; FMSC is off the schedule; and unless anyone else I know is going I won't be in Hermosillo as Steve will be busy during that time with HVAC at Pima and GTTN. (Updated February 14, 2012)
YouTube video:

First Few Days at University, and a few other things

I'm not sure who or what I should properly credit for this--my time at Pima College, my Transfer Strategies class, both, or something else entirely--, but I'll say the following: I wasn't too overwhelmed by my first day. The only thing that I can say was some trouble finding where my classes were, and even then that's not much of a complaint. Going from ~20 people in a classroom to ~80 in one and at least a couple hundred, while odd, isn't so bad for the moment. If anything... I haven't really met anyone there I recognise from either Pima or Benson; for the sake of my sanity, I'll want to make friends here as soon as possible. While my friends at Grace To The Nations have been good, I'd rather not rely on them (or the handful of friends I chat with online) for socialisation. If nothing else, I can try to get to know one of the Teachers' Assistants--that's always useful, I suppose.

I'm going through what's called a "Daniel Fast"--21 days long--which officially started today. I chose to take a fast from soda and most fatty foods (anything higher than 5 grams of fat), along with trying to get closer to God. Aside from being hungrier than usual (I need to find better sources of food), it's going pretty good so far. Okay, so not only does it include soda, but rich foods and sauces, meat (and dairy products?), and desserts. Everything else that I said applies, and I'll have to cut down on my internet time.

Not sure if I already wrote this or not, but back in mid-December I sent out a package to my friend (Yanina) and her 8-year-old daughter (Lara) in Buenos Aires for Christmas--Lara got some art supplies (stuff like glitter pens, coloured pencils, paper) and cards for both of them. They got them today, and both were very happy. Therefore, I'm happy that they're happy and that it finally got there. If I haven't made this note on here, I'll have to remember to use FedEx or a better alternative for stuff like this--Postal Service didn't seem to work.

Friendship Part 2

I was originally going to write this about the friends that I've made since graduating from High School (well, the ones that stand out), but after posting a link to Part 1 on my Facebook, a friend, Brittany Watson, requested the following:
"I was looking forward to more detail about the social connections in high school. I'll stay tuned".
With that in mind, I'll try my best, though I'm guessing you meant how they related to me--if you meant in general, then I might not have that much to write. As you know, it's been less than 4 years since I've graduated, and quite a few of those details are pretty fuzzy, even if you account that I wasn't exactly that aware of what my friends' social lives were like. And if anyone's reading this, thinking, "Who are all these people?", sorry--I'm somewhat writing this for the sort of people who know at least some of these people already.

Freshman Year:
As I said before in Part 1, I came in mostly knowing the friends I had from Pomerene, although there were a couple of people I knew from 4th grade in Benson (basically, Mitchael Richards and Megan Ellsworth). Through the various classes I took (English, Math, Biology, History, Journalism, and probably one other), I started making quite a few of my core friends from High School during this time; I may have still kept to myself more often than not, but at least I could say that my social circle was widening. I'm not sure how relevant this is, but during this time I was on the Basketball team and the Golf team (during fall and spring, respectively).

Sophomore Year:
I can't really remember there being any additions made to my number of friends (aside from what I'll say below--I'm just typing this down from memory), so I'm pretty sure this was a point where I was developing to what I had. To be honest, I can't remember much about this time, although... If it wasn't Freshman Year, this was the year that the Melvin Klan (a group of friends who liked to joke around, play pranks, and such) formed--I wasn't a member, but I got to know pretty much all of them. At the time, I wasn't really used to that sort of thing; in retrospect, however, they weren't too bad--I just prefer to keep my distance from them these days.

Junior Year:
This is when things get interesting. In Part 1, I mentioned how I ended up joining the Drama Club and was in Concert Choir. I already knew Nathan Walls and Alex Heckman since Sophomore Year (those two were in both Drama Club and Choir; I'm sure I knew a couple others that were in both, but I can't remember), although the reasons for joining Drama Club was because my mom wanted me to be in an extra-curricular activity--I didn't do that in Sophomore year. What resulted from this were a number of changes. For one, I made quite a few friends in both Drama and Choir--in the former, not only did I practice with my troupe, but actually got to work together doing something constructive and helped bond with some of my peers. All that, plus acting sort of makes you break out of your shell--you're sort of expected to express yourself in these sorts of conditions. Another thing was having a Spanish class. Now, for those who have never been in a class like this, you're expected to talk--with your neighbour, to the teacher, and to the class--in a language you're not completely familiar with; in my case, I barely knew anything about the language beforehand, so there was that added factor.

Senior Year:
In some ways, this was like my Sophomore year--not so many friends added aside from some of the exchange students, so it was more development. The things I learned from the previous year with regards to not being so withdrawn had changed me. I can remember being in Algebra class that year, and hearing Mr. O'Callaghan's comment towards me--that I had gone from someone who mostly kept to myself and never really talking with anyone around me to someone who felt more comfortable chatting and helping out my friends with their math problems. On the down side... (Stay on topic! Stay on topic!) Okay, on the down side, my emotional maturity wasn't the best. I don't care what you call it--hormonal flux, needing to get my head out of my backside, or whatever. In some cases, I was honestly not as good of a friend as I should have been. I don't want to get into detail about some of that, but let's just say that those were parts of my life that I do not miss.

Friendship (Part 1)

Normally, I would be making this post about my first class at the U of A, and I'll do so in my next one. But, instead, I felt I ought to start talking about something that, if my friends don't know this already, you all should know. It's basically about friendship and how it affects me. And part of me doesn't want me to do this, as though it makes me look like I'm needing a pity party (trust me when I say this: I've gotten over the stuff in the following paragraph! I just wanted to get this out of my system). If I post this, then I've either reworded this enough so I don't think it'll come off that way or I don't even care. And, yes, I might be rambling a bit here.

I've thought about writing about this before I started this blog, but I imagined that it would be under different circumstances. And then I went and got all paranoid after a friend (who will remain nameless) said she would be going through what I would call Spring Cleaning of her friend list. We hadn't spoke in a while, and for reasons that now sound very stupid I thought I'd be lucky if she counted me as an acquaintance. Basically, I got (a little) paranoid about it and was looking for some closure (am I totally off-base about this or what?). Eventually, I got the answer I needed (I was wron about my assumption), calmed down... and got a reminder that I have a tendency to get upset/go flying off the handle.

And, as much as I hate to admit this, she's right. On the one hand, I try to keep this mask of "I'm calm, and everything's all right". On the other hand, sometimes things slip out. I get too nervous for my own good, uptight where I really need to chillll, upset where I don't really need to feel that way... And I can only imagine what my friends and family would add to that description. As with all that, deep down I'd know they're right.

Part of the reason that I acted that what is that, when I get right down to it, I'm afraid of losing my friends. For many years, I barely had any friends at all, and quite a few times it was only one person--when I did have one (or at least someone who'd interact with me that wasn't a relative), more often than not I took it for granted and didn't even recognise what I had, preferring to stay in my shell and rarely ever wanting to reach out. I took a lack of a meaningful social life for granted! Looking back at it all now, not only does it look weird compared to how I feel today, it simultaneously feels bizarre and makes quite a bit of sense in its' own way. As you've probably gathered by now, my social skills, especially before I moved to Arizona, weren't great. It was only when I moved to this region, to a small village called Pomerene, did things start to change.

In Benson and Pomerene, the class sizes are smaller, especially with the latter. As such, you can't just simply hope to hide in the background--eventually, you have to interact with your peers. Between 5th and 8th grade, cracks were definitely forming on my shell. I actually had a regular group of people that I could more or less wanted to interact with, and even spoke with on occasion. Unfortunately, for my dad (who I wasn't living with at the time), this wasn't quite enough. I could tell he was disappointed with the fact that I was so introverted, unlike him--even if he meant well, he made that clear enough for me to pick up on. And although I can't remember the details, he was hoping to change that at his speed, even if I wasn't ready--I'm guessing you can figure out how well that went.

Once I first started going to Benson High School, if nothing else I wasn't going in alone. Freshman year was, naturally, awkward, but at least I made a few more friends. Sophomore year built off from there, although the child support/quasi-custody battle between my mom and dad was a pain. Junior year was when a few things happened: I had joined the Drama Club, I was participating in Concert Choir, and I was starting more and more like I belonged to that school. Drama Club was good for making new friends and making me bust down more of my walls at a pace I was comfortable with, and Concert Choir not only allowed me to make more friends but express myself (something that I really liked). All that helped to add and cement my social network, making my time at Benson feel better.

With those changes, along with the ones I made from then onward (which I'll discuss in a later blog), eventually I just thought that I didn't want to go back to my old social life, where I was lucky to have (and should've been more thankful to have) the friends/people who actually cared that I had. And, as much as it can annoy me at times, those feelings can come out in ways that are just weird.

Random2

Yes, another Random blog... I couldn't help but do this.

First off, I might as well give my class schedule:
Monday-Wednesday-Friday: POL 206--Public Policy and Administration (10:00 am-10:40)
Monday-Wednesday: ECN 202--Macroeconomics (at Pima College-Downtown, from 12:10 to 1)
Tuesday-Thursday: GEOG 379--Urban Growth & Development (12:30-1:45)
I got Urban Growth added yesterday--so thankful there was room!

Tomorrow, I'm going bowling with Steve (one of my friends from church--I figure I'll talk more about him in some other blogs down the line) at Tucson Bowl. I haven't actually gone bowling ever since I was a little kid--the closest thing since then was on a Wii; I figure that I had to have been 8 or 9 at the time, and it was certainly before I moved to Arizona.

Sometime in February, I might be going with Steve (and I don't even know who else might come along) to volunteer for an organisation called Feed My Starving Children--will do my best to take pictures. In April (I'm pretty sure it's in April), we'll be going to Hermosillo--YAY!!! Yes, I will take pictures.